Firstly, it’s important to recognize that the only way to do this is through communication
You need to realize that arguing continuously isn’t going to solve any problems in your relationship, it is destructive and creates hostility. Backing down from an argument doesn’t have to mean you’re conceding, or that you are weak.
You will have negative thoughts and emotions, but try to put these aside and allow yourself to feel the love you originally felt for your partner.
There is nothing wrong with disliking many aspects about your spouse, and still love them.
You will both need to be flexible and willing to compromise on certain issues to be able to work through your differences.
At the same time you also need to give each other space, to help process what you have discussed and deal with any negative emotions.
Most arguments are the result of an underlying issue in your relationship that aren’t being dealt with. You need to identify and resolve these issues, through communication, and this can only be done with a calm clear mind.
I find that when I can feel that I’m getting emotional, and I’m about to say something, I ask myself if what I’m about to say is useful in any way, or is it antagonistic or destructive. This forces you to consider what you’re about to say, and not have emotional outbursts. Obviously this is easier said than done, but it’s important to try to remain in control of your emotions.
I recommend a book called “Save my Marriage Today”, actually it’s split into 2 books, I have a copy of a review of these books here. It comes with a 60 day 100% money back guarantee, so if you aren’t entirely happy with it, simply request a refund.